A Book Review of Wonderworks: The 25 Most Powerful Inventions in the History of Literature

It has somehow been nearly a year since I wrote anything, and I definitely blame COVID for that. I’ve heard from many people that their creativity felt stunted after the year we had in 2020, and I will agree. Here’s to moving forward and rediscovering our creativity!

I have to thank a friend of mine for inspiring my first spark of interest this year. She sent me the link to a Brené Brown Unlocking Us podcast interview with Angus Fletcher. If you don’t know who that is, you are not alone. I hadn’t heard of him before this either, but now I own his new book Wonderworks: The 25 Most Powerful Inventions in the History of Literature. Fletcher is a special kind of genius, and hearing him speak about his passions is inspiring. Before you read his book, check out the podcast with Brené Brown here.

This blog post isn’t your usual book review, because Wonderworks is not your usual book. Fletcher uses his vast knowledge of neuroscience and literature to weave together a fascinating list of literary inventions that have shaped the world. These inventions are also not your usual tinkerer inventions created to perform a certain task, but rather inventions in literature that have helped humanity learn and unlearn throughout the centuries. Fletcher himself explains how to use his unique book:

“The chapters are interconnected but independent, like books on a shelf. So, if you’re seeking a particular benefit from literature, you can jump to reading that chapter now. If you like to be surprised, you can browse out of order. And if you’re a committed bibliophile, you can start at chapter 1 and read right through” (Fletcher 27-28).

With chapter titles ranging from “Rally Your Courage” to “Unfreeze Your Heart,” Fletcher uses examples from a wide range of literature to teach us to utilize what we read to inspire change.

Since I am a self-proclaimed bibliophile, I am reading Wonderworks front to back and must admit I have not quite finished the book. I read one or two chapters each time I pick it up, and I always walk away having learned something new. After the isolating year of COVID, I am especially looking forward to the chapters “Find Peace of Mind” and “Lessen Your Lonely.” If you are a literature lover, you will want to have this book on your shelf. If you are fascinated with how our brains are wired and how stories affect change, you will want this book. Fletcher writes as though he is sitting across a café table from you, and he is a fantastic conversationalist!

Works Cited

 “Brené with Dr. Angus Fletcher on Life-Changing Inventions in Literature.” Brené Brown, 22 Apr. 2021, brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-dr-angus-fletcher-on-life-changing-inventions-in-literature/#close-popup.

Fletcher, Angus. Wonderworks: The 25 Most Powerful Inventions in the History of Literature. SIMON SCHUSTER, 2021.

Creative “Stay-at-Home” Date Ideas During a COVID-19 Summer

If you’re anything like me, COVID-19 completely disrupted every aspect of your life, and you’re just recently beginning to find your way back to a healthier “new normal.” My husband and I celebrated our first anniversary on June 7, and we definitely did not expect to spend a quarter of our first year of marriage staying at home together 24/7. While the constant unexpected time at home brought its own challenges to our relationship, we also found some really fun ways to spend time together. Here is a list of our Top 5 Favorite COVID Date Ideas. You don’t have to be married to try these either; they are perfect for dating and engaged couples too!

1. Plan a fancy dinner at home.

You can find a new recipe and cook together, or just order takeout from one of your favorite restaurants! We discovered that we actually enjoy cooking together more than we expected. Pinterest will be so helpful for this. Don’t forget to decorate your dining room table with your fancy “special occasion only dishes,” candles, a tablecloth, etc. to make it feel more special than all the other meals you’ve been eating at home.

Word to the Wise: Don’t pick an overly complicated meal if you’re making it yourselves. It’s best not to stress yourselves out more than you already are!

2. Take a trip down memory lane.

Most of us have years of photos on our phones or computers. Take some time to go back through memories and relive the fun you’ve had with each other and with family or friends. We really enjoyed looking through travel photos and taking a “virtual” trip since we couldn’t go anywhere. It’s amazing how much good conversation came out of this because we both remembered different details about the same pictures. Since our anniversary happened during the stay-at-home order, we also watched our wedding video and went through all our honeymoon photos! Talk about all the memories flooding back!

Pro tip: While you’re going through all these photos, you could also choose some favorites together to print out. I have a tendency to leave photos on my phone, but during COVID, I uploaded nearly 100 photos to the Walgreens photo website, and they shipped them to me within a couple of weeks. Now I have a full photo album and didn’t have to leave the house!

3. Host a virtual game night!

This date idea gets you some socially-distant time with friends into the bargain! There are multiple options for a virtual game night depending on how tech-savvy you are. My husband and I have played an online Dungeons & Dragons campaign with friends on Tabletop Simulator– which was a totally new experience for me! We’ve also used Jackbox and Zoom with our church small group. You use your smartphones for Jackbox, and someone can share their screen in Zoom! While we haven’t used Houseparty, I’ve heard that it is another great option for virtual games!

Pro tip: If you’re using Jackbox, some of the games have player limits, and the rest of the players will be in the “audience.” You can take turns playing, or just make sure you keep the group small enough.

4. Pick random movies/shows from a streaming service.

We’ve had a lot of fun choosing movies and shows at random. Instead of mindlessly scrolling through Netflix, try picking something that you wouldn’t normally watch. You may end up loving it! A few nights ago on a whim, we decided to watch the new Netflix movie Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, starring Rachel McAdams and Will Ferrell. It has terrible reviews from the “experts,” but we haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. It’s ridiculously funny, and I highly recommend it!

Word to the wise: Don’t get caught in the cycle of scrolling so long that you end up not watching anything at all. That can be an argument trap. If the random idea doesn’t sound appealing, you can also find lists online of the best trending movies and shows every month.

5. Ask and answer questions. Make time for meaningful conversation.

When we were dating, we played the “random question game” to get to know each other. You each take a turn coming up with a question, and then you both answer it. And take the time to really listen to each other’s answers. You can learn a lot of important things through a seemingly silly game. For us, this game usually starts out with surface-level questions and gets more serious. We hadn’t done this in years, but since we had extra time together, we brought it back! It’s amazing how different our questions were this time around. I think sometimes in relationships, we feel that we know each other so well, but if you take time and intentionality, there is always something new to learn and love about each other!

Pro tip: If you have trouble coming up with questions, you can find lists online to get you started! But once you start, it’s a lot easier to come up with your own. Some of our favorites have been: “What was your favorite memory when we were dating?” and “If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

I hope these ideas help you brainstorm your own creative COVID date ideas! Eventually we’ll all be able to go out for dates again, but until then, let’s try to make the most of the extra time we may have together at home.

 

 

Images taken from Google Images:

https://images.app.goo.gl/YbaE3yKrS3T9ZdG17
https://images.app.goo.gl/i5v55NUz8QB8gmZU7
https://images.app.goo.gl/Fyh4QSs4yeMM7cnj7
https://images.app.goo.gl/1WDQyf86Tep8W87e9
https://images.app.goo.gl/xaZpPXwuvXd5UcLbA

Love in Every Season Book Review

I first started reading Debra Fileta’s blog True Love Dates about five years ago when I was deeply struggling with an extended time of singleness and self-doubt. Since then, her books have continually challenged and encouraged me in my journey through singleness and dating to engagement and marriage.  Her latest book, Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, is her best yet. It is not an exaggeration to say that it is written for everyone regardless of their current relationship status. Whether or not you are single, dating, engaged, or married, you will be able to recognize yourself or your relationship in one of Fileta’s four seasons of relationships.

Pick up your own copy here!

As the title suggests, Fileta’s latest book details four relationship seasons: Spring is the time of attraction and getting to know each other, and summer is when everything heats up. Fall is a period of learning to navigate conflict and growing into a deeper relationship, while winter is a time filled with more struggles and the potential for apathy.

One of the most helpful points in this book is that a healthy relationship will cycle through these seasons multiple times—and not just move on a straight course from infatuation to boredom over the years.

Sometimes in our culture it is easy to buy into the idea that marriage is always difficult after the “honeymoon stage” is over, but Fileta reinforces the fact that this is simply not the case in a healthy relationship—especially one in which both people are seeking God and striving for individual health as well.

Fileta’s honesty, openness, and relatability, combined with her expertise as a professional counselor engage readers from the first page. Every chapter is filled with real-world applications and advice on how to navigate and grow in whatever season you may be experiencing in your relationship.

And if you’re single, you will find countless tips on how to prepare yourself for a future healthy relationship.

This book is for everyone; if you read Love in Every Season, you will not close the book without learning at least one thing that will challenge you and change your life and relationships. I cannot recommend it enough!

Love in Every Season was released today, and you can get your own copy here!

What is the Worth of an English Degree?

Last week, I had an experience that reinforced the feelings of inferiority I’ve been struggling with since I graduated college over six years ago. My husband and I were introducing ourselves to a middle-aged couple, and the man asked us what we studied. Here is the actual conversation, beginning with my reply:

“I got my master’s degree in English Literature, and I’m working as an office manager,” all while he barely acknowledged me and looked at my husband instead, asking:

“And what did you study?”

“I’m a computer engineer—

“Oh! So you have a job!” said while laughing…

This is not the first time something like this has happened to me. Our culture places such a strong emphasis on STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math), that those of us who genuinely love and excel in other subjects such as literature, art, music, history, etc. can feel as though we are less intelligent or unsuccessful in our careers. This blog post is not meant to lessen the importance of STEM, it is meant to defend the equal validity of other options. Yes, I understand the fact that our current culture only exists because of massive advancements in technology and science, but there will never be a time when humanity loses the need for reading, writing, and understanding ourselves through stories.

From the age of 16 when I took the ACT and my lowest scores were in math and science, I felt like a failure. The “consolation prize” was the fact that I got perfect scores in English and Reading, but they were not what mattered. Fast forward to college and cue panic when I started hearing that people with English degrees “never find jobs.” I read articles online that described students in the English field earning a “useless degree” and “taking the easy route”—while I stared at the massive stack of books on my desk, easily 4 hours of reading, and one of the 10-plus page papers half-finished on my laptop that I loved being challenged to write.

Then came the option for graduate school. I felt pressured to study something other than English all while agonizing over what else I might even be qualified to try with my “lack” of marketable skills. In the end, I earned my Masters in Literature, and I was proud. I was proud of the thinking and analyzing I had honed over six years of studying. I was proud that I could take vast amounts of reading and condense it into something clear and concise. I was proud of being challenged by books and poems that stretched me out of my comfort zone—of reading stories from people all over the world and learning about their experiences. I was proud of tackling interpersonal conflicts in the classroom. I was proud of facing my fear of public speaking and presenting my work in front of my peers and professors. I was proud of the 60-page thesis I worked on for a year and a half. Then people started asking me why I still choose to work in a low salary office job that “doesn’t use my skills.”

I hate the word “skills.” It is used to encompass so much, and I think the main difference between STEM skills and English literature skills is simply the fact that STEM degrees lead directly to a career path. Most STEM graduates end up working in their field soon after college and stay near that track for their working lives. I have worked in eight different positions since I graduated: restaurant hostess, bookstore clerk, substitute teacher, laser tag monitor, office assistant in a university resident hall, office assistant for faculty, office assistant for a graduate program, and office manager for a university’s financial aid office. Some might think that these jobs are less than ideal, and believe me I enjoyed some more than others, but I also learned valuable lessons from each one. I was able to take what I learned in my English literature courses and apply it to every single job.

My challenge to anyone reading this post is to question your thinking when it comes to prioritizing and ranking the importance of degrees and careers. At the end of the day, a college degree is simply a degree, and a job is a job. The title of this post is based on a fallacious belief that people earn worth based on what they do. Our culture tries to define us by our level of success in the workplace, but we are made for so much more than chasing the next promotion. We have inherent value apart from what we do and accomplish. Encourage the children around you to read, join band and choir, and write imaginative stories. I truly hope that my future children will never be made to feel that they are inferior to anyone else simply because they choose a degree outside of STEM. When we label fields of study as useless, we label the people in those fields useless as well, and that is an undeniable lie.

P.S. I took both photos included in this post while I was researching for and writing my graduate thesis. English majors work hard. I wrote a similar post 4 years ago when I started grad school. You can read it here: What Are You Going to Do With That Degree?

Learning With the “Marsh Girl”: A Review of Where the Crawdads Sing

Photo taken from www.deliaowens.com

Finishing a good book is a lot like waking up from a dream or recovering from jet lag after a long trip. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens is one of the best books I have read in a long time. Even though I finished reading it several days ago, I still find my daydreams drifting back to the world of Kya and her marsh.

It is no wonder then that Owens’s first novel easily climbed to #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list, where it still deservedly sits after 35 weeks. Within the first few pages, we meet 6-year-old Kya who is already grappling with the complicated and painful world she must navigate alone. Owens’s talented background as a nature writer is on full display; Kya’s love for the wildlife around her seeps through every sentence, drawing readers deeper into the heart of the marsh. Weaving through the waterways and hiding in the grasses with Kya in her dilapidated boat, we follow the impoverished and isolated yet vibrant life of a girl growing up on the North Carolina coast in the 1950s and 1960s.

The plot snakes and twists along with the marsh lagoons and estuaries, switching back and forth between the present and the future. The present is always uncertain, and we find early on that the future holds a mysterious murder and wonder how Kya’s story will cross its path. We learn to quickly love Kya’s strong and resourceful spirit even as our hearts break for her. Each kind word spoken to her brings a smile, while each cruel snub of the “Marsh Girl” hurts a bit more. Kya and her marsh are intermingled and inseparable from the first page to the last. Through her eyes we see how humanity mirrors the darker sides of nature all too often.

It is difficult to write a review of Where the Crawdads Sing without giving spoilers. The novel defies categorization in many ways—mixing mystery with history, nature, and a study of the human spirit and our capacity to love and to hate. The surprise—yet perhaps not such a surprise—ending will leave you blinking at the last page, unwilling to close the cover on her story. Read this novel, and you will not be disappointed.

 

Check out the website below to learn more about Kya’s marsh and the other wetlands of North Carolina! Blog post photo taken from: http://www.ncwetlands.org/learn/aboutncswetlands/types/

 

The Art of Waiting

When we are young, we count the days until 16.

When we’re 16, we can’t wait to be 18.

When 18 rolls around, we want to be 21.

We impatiently wait for high school and then college.

After that, the waiting gets harder. There are no set milestones, and so many times life feels like a terrifying blank page with no clear directions. Career? Marriage? Kids?

I don’t know about you, but I tend to fixate on the next best thing around the corner instead of fully inhabiting the moment and space that is now. Perhaps after a life so far spent making countdowns and believing that “things will be better when you’re older,” it is difficult to be present. The unknown can be scary, but learning to live in contentment with the reality of where you are is harder.

This C.S. Lewis quote from The Screwtape Letters has stuck with me over the years:

“The Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most temporal part of time–for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays.”

I love his words here because I am reminded that we rob ourselves of so much joy if we are constantly waiting for what comes next, and we miss out even more if we live in nostalgia. The present is the only part of time that we can fully enjoy and partially control. That is a beautiful gift.

So, this is the challenge I have set for myself: I want to look for those “eternal rays” wherever I happen to be. Even through difficult times, there can be slivers of light. Even if something more exciting is around the next bend, there is still beauty here and now.

Maybe this is the hard work of learning the art of waiting. It’s different from being patient. It’s a choice to be fully here, right now, every day. It forces me to slow down and pay attention. It’s hard, but I know it’s worth it. Join me?

 

Image: https://dispatcheseurope.com/stranded-massive-construction-projects-interrupting-train-service-across-germany/girl-waiting-for-train-wallpaper/

Top 5 Thanksgiving Dinner Foods

Somehow Thanksgiving is only two days away! This year has flown by yet again.

The holiday season is by far my favorite time of year, and I decided it was time for another holiday-themed blog that lists my favorite things. Need more lists in your life? Read about my favorite Christmas movies and favorite Christmas music here!

And with a delicious Thanksgiving meal tantalizing in reach, what better list than my top favorite Thanksgiving foods? If there was any doubt, I am definitely a foodie!

Please feel free to add your own favorites in the comments! I know that some people would be willing to fight me on at least a few of these—or be appalled at some that I am leaving out.

1. Pumpkin Pie

In the number one spot, we have pumpkin pie! Yes, I do look forward to dessert most of all, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who knows me. Pumpkin pie must be served with whipped cream though, or it’s just not the same! It seems like most people either love or hate pumpkin pie, and I absolutely fall into the first category.

2. Mashed Potatoes

Mashed potatoes come in at number two for me, and I think they are simply wonderful for any meal or occasion! I especially love them with Thanksgiving when gravy covers the turkey and mashed potatoes. So delicious!

3. Cranberry Sauce

I think I might get some disagreements on this one. I love the canned cranberry sauce! The fancy homemade cranberry sauce with whole cranberries has a strange texture to me, and I always find myself reaching for the canned cranberry sauce if there is an option. Now don’t get me wrong, I love food. And I will eat the whole cranberry sauce if I must!

4. Turkey

The poor turkey—the central part of Thanksgiving dinner—comes in at number four, but I can’t have Thanksgiving without turkey. How else would I have such an amazing nap and turkey leftovers for days?

5. Rolls

What would Thanksgiving be without these perfectly buttery pieces of heaven? They’re perfect for soaking up gravy and filling in the last corner of room in my stomach! Rolls are the unsung heroes of Thanksgiving dinner. Now the question is, can you have just one?

If you weren’t already excited for Thanksgiving dinner, I’m sure you are now! I have successfully made myself hungry. Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you get to spend it with your family and friends and remember how much we have to be thankful for this year.

It will happen when you least expect it.

“When you know, you know.”

“It will happen when you least expect it.”

I used to hate hearing those words, because at the time they felt like meaningless platitudes people used to give me false hope.

Just six short months ago, I decided to give up online dating and dating apps. If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts, you know that I have struggled with singleness throughout most of my adult life. I finally got to the point when I realized that I was choosing to be unhappy, and dating apps simply did not work for me. I found it very stressful to peruse photos and brief bios and judge men based only on that, and it got to the point where I could not remember what small talk topic I had brought up with which “match.” The superficiality bothered me, and meeting strangers for dates was not appealing at all.

So, I decided that if I ever found someone, it would be in an “old-fashioned” way. I would either meet a guy through my normal daily life, or we would be introduced through family or mutual friends. I chose to focus my energy on the healthy friendships I already had and invest more time in things I truly loved. Instead of praying every night that God would help me find a boyfriend, my prayers shifted, and I began to pray that I would become healthier, more confident, and focus on all the good and beautiful people and things in my life.

Little did I know that mere weeks later, I would meet the man who has forever captured my heart.

We were introduced and set-up by my younger sister and a friend. I knew it was a set-up, but he had no clue until a week later when my sister masterminded a second date! She said her mission was to find someone for me, and she went above and beyond. Thank God for sisters! From the start, I knew there was a real possibility that something could happen between us, but I refused to let myself get too hopeful. I was terrified of getting hurt, and I couldn’t believe he was real.

Fast forward to now, and I have never been happier. There is nothing better than dating your best friend, and I am so relieved that I never fully gave up my dreams of what a healthy relationship would look and feel like. I recognized it when I found him. Now all those hazy daydreams have been brought into bright and colorful focus, and it’s him I see standing at the end of the aisle and playing with our future children.

I am so thankful and so blessed. For those of you still waiting, don’t give up. Now I understand what people meant. It really is true.

It will happen when you least expect it.

When you know, you know.

A Review of The Little Paris Bookshop

Every so often, I read a book and feel instantly compelled to write a review. The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George is one of those books. I cannot recommend it enough. Of course, George also somehow manages to encompass my loves of literature, travel, and romance in dazzling beauty, and even though I read the English translation from the original German, her phrases and descriptions are like reading art.

I must confess that I first judged this book by its cover at my favorite local bookstore, Afterwords Books. The cover art caught my eye, and in this case, I was not disappointed. The Little Paris Bookshop follows the story of middle-aged Monsieur Jean Perdu, who has lived in heartbreak for “7,216 nights” since his beloved Manon left him. His only reprieve is the old barge he sets up as a bookshop on the banks of the River Seine and calls his Literary Apothecary. Perdu does not only sell books; he uses them to help heal the broken and hurting people who come to his store.

After a jolt from the past leaves him reeling, Jean Perdu suddenly unmoors his barge and his life and begins a journey to the south of France. Along the way he befriends a ragtag group and learns more about himself and the woman he loved for so long. His journey makes this a travel book of sorts as well, and George’s descriptions led me to look up the towns he visited in France. Did you know, for example, that Cuisery is a town dedicated to literature and books? It was quickly moved toward the top of my “Places to Visit” list.

George’s novel is a love letter to literature and a tribute to the healing power of stories. It is a map of one man’s literal and spiritual journey of discovery and memory. In Perdu’s own words:

“Books are more than doctors, of course. Some novels are loving, lifelong companions; some give you a clip around the ear; others are friends who wrap you in warm towels when you’ve got those autumn blues. And some . . . well, some are pink candy floss that tingles your brain for three seconds and leaves a blissful void. Like a short, torrid love affair.”

I would place this book in the “friends who wrap you in warm towels” category. The Little Paris Bookshop reminded me that our lives are all guided by stories; literature has certainly shaped my own. Love binds people together, and no matter where we call home, there are paths that connect us all.

 

All quotations taken from:
George, Nina, and Simon Pare. The Little Paris Bookshop: a Novel. Crown Publishers, 2015.

Choosing Marriage: A Short Book Review

I’ve once again been MIA for too long, but I’m back and wanted to share this review of one of my favorite author’s newest book. If you read my blog at all, you know that I write a lot about singleness, relationships, faith, and books. This post combines all of those topics. I was part of the launch team for Choosing Marriage, and today is officially launch day. I’m excited to get the actual paperback copy in the mail tonight! I definitely encourage you to read this book whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married.

Debra Fileta’s newest book Choosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start with We > Me is even better than I expected. I loved her book True Love Dates and consistently learn so much from her blog. Debra is a wonderful storyteller, and her vulnerability shines through her writing. She understands the struggles of navigating life as both a single and a married Christian, and her training as a professional counselor adds even more depth and insight. Debra’s writing style is familiar and never judgmental or prescriptive, a combination that is sadly rare in many Christian relationship books.

Her latest book is expertly written to include both singles and married couples in its intended audience. I have to admit that I was skeptical at first since I have experienced the feeling of exclusion in books and studies that are clearly for married people even if they claim otherwise. Choosing Marriage succeeds in going over and above my expectations. Debra’s focus on authenticity and personal stories is refreshing. Reading this book is like soaking up encouragement and advice from a best friend over a cup of coffee.

“Choosing to love someone is so much more meaningful than needing someone to love.” 

This quote is near the end of Choosing Marriage, but it stopped me in my tracks. Such a simple phrase—14 words that hold so much meaning.  I needed that reminder, and I know I’m not the only person who is sometimes tempted to make relationship decisions out of the deep need and longing for companionship rather than from choices of what is right and healthy. And someday, when I do find someone, I hope with God’s help to be able to choose to love him every day—not from a desperate need but from a committed and daily choice.