Change.

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Change.

This is a short, difficult, and honest post for me. But it needed to be written.

I’m admittedly not the greatest at handling all the changes life seems to throw at me. I’ve also noticed that most big life changes love to hit all at once with absolutely no regard for my emotional and mental health!

Many times even my trust in God waivers, because yes, I know he will never leave me. But that doesn’t make me feel any better when I could honestly just use a hug on lonely nights when I’m too stressed to fall asleep—or when the hopes and plans I’ve held onto so tightly for too long are crumbling all around me.

When I come face-to-face with overwhelming changes, my first reaction is to withdraw inside myself, to try going back to the last place where I felt safe and comfortable.  This coping mechanism doesn’t help at all though. Instead of learning to face new situations with confidence, I constantly second-guess myself.  I wonder if I’ll actually fit in with a new group, if everyone will see how absolutely terrified I am, if I’ll completely fail.

Why don’t we share these stories with each other? Surely I’m not the only one who feels this way.

Why do we try so hard to hide behind facades of having it all together when we’re falling apart behind our Barbie smiles?

Honesty can be freeing if we’re strong enough to try it.

Maybe it is time for yet another change.

What do you think?

 

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